The Remedy of Uncertainty

I have to be completely honest….Sadly, I did not come up with that really good title. I stole it from my devotional book. But it is completely fitting for this post. So I started to write from where I left off but soon realized that if I did that, this would be a really long (probably boring) post! So I have decided to write about just today and then maybe post about week two tomorrow.

God has a sense of humor and definitely knows what I need before I know myself. This week I was told that it was a possibility that I would go to a city called Koszalin to teach in an apartment. Needless to say I was skeptical. But today has easily been the best day I’ve had since I’ve gotten here, with this past Sabbath a close second, or tied actually. I was told that an office worker would come to my apartment today at 11:05 and take me to my 11:20 shuttle to Koszalin. 11:10 came and I feared I was forgotten. Which I was but it made for quite the start to this day. Kasia, the office worker, ran to my place and from the time we started running to catch the shuttle we had 3 minutes. For some reason, I chose to wear a long maxi dress, cardigan, scarf, and a pair of toms-like shoes. During my impromptu jog, all of this was quite annoying. From the looks I got while running, I knew I was quite a sight! Holding my maxi dress up, trying to keep my cardigan from flying off, and trying not to slip on cobblestone streets. The whole entire time we were running I was praying, “Jesus, if you want me to go to Koszalin today, I know you will make a way.” Jesus made a way. By some miracle, we made it and I got onto the shuttle. By this time, I realized I had forgotten my water bottle and that is was HOT! I put my hair up and took my cardigan off and started fanning myself with a book I had. Again, quite the sight.

As I cooled down from an adventurous start, my heart and nerves begin to take flight. I had to make sure to get off at the right stop and this shuttle made multiple stops. I, as a small town girl, suck at and know nothing about public transportation. And that’s public transportation in my own language! (refer to funny LA story where my boyfriend and I tried to take public transportation from the airport to the Polish consulate to get my visa….yeah…we ended up running two miles with 30 minutes on our time clock). I was working myself into a fit of nerves and I started to feel overwhelmed. I finally said to myself, “Emily. You need to stop. God wants you here. He wants you to go. He will get you there and He will get you there safely.” I got out my iPod and put on my Jesus playlist and this is one of the first instances in my day where God has a sense of humor. “I’m Letting Go” by Francesca Battistelli comes on and waves of peace wash over me and I start to become overwhelmed for a different reason entirely (YouTube link embedded at the end of this post). So for the rest of the trip, I worshiped and calmed my nerves in one of the best ways. I prayed fervently for this day. And…always in a rush, I almost got off a stop too early but the shuttle driver said no. I got off near a train station, looked around, and looked at the time. I was about 10 minutes ahead of schedule. Karolina, the lady who ran classes out of the Koszalin apartment was not there. I texted Tom and he texted back saying she would be there within 5-10 minutes.

Ten minutes later, a young woman approached me and asked my name questioningly. I was kind of upset about looking so out of place until she told me that she had been sent a picture of me the previous night…haha. From there, she showed me how to get to the bus I would take to the apartment, how to read the timetable and which bus number I would be taking. And then she showed me how to take the shuttle back to Kolobrzeg and how to read that timetable. We then went in her car on the route the bus would take me and she pointed out where I would get off and walk to the apartments. And I learned how to buy a bus ticket in Polish: Jeden ulgowy prosze = One discount ticket please. (Enter sarcastic yay for more public transportation.) I instantly clicked with Karolina and talking with her put me completely at ease. We parked and she then bought me some delicious treat from a bakery since I forgot to bring a lunch. We went to the apartment where I would be teaching for the afternoon and it was adorable. (some pictures of my room will be at the end of this post) We sat down in her office and she told me my schedule:

1:45 – Ola, Victoria, and Patricia (60 min)

3:30 – Veronica, Michael, Maria, and Bartek (45 min)

4:15 – Ola and Ala (45 min)

5 – Ola, Ola, and Ola…and yes..I’m serious. (60 min)

6 – Max (45 min)

For some reason…I don’t know why…maybe because I didn’t have time for it and Karolina kept talking to me, I didn’t freak out over having that many sessions in one day. Karolina asked me about myself and I got to show her my family and my boyfriend. We talked and had good conversation. I also had my first cup of coffee since coming to Poland…and it was AMAZING!!!! It was some type of natural coffee. Point is, Karolina has offered to make it for me every time I come! Soon enough, it was time for my first lesson. I had little time to prepare for my first session so it was kind of unorganized and hectic. Also two girls were way more advanced than one girl, so in the end I just let them play hangman. My second session went much smoother because I had decided to make a loose outline instead of just going by ear. Each session got better and better until my three Ola’s. It ended up that they had sat in order of age: 15, 16, and 17. And it was at this time especially that I realized God has brought me here for a reason and He has placed all these people, these students, in my life for a reason. However random and uncertain this day seemed, it was all planned out by the author of my life. I am so thankful and in awe of His love, mercy, and grace He showers me with on the daily here in Poland. Being completely out of my comfort zone allows me to realize it and fully experience it so much more than I normally would.

My last student forgot about his lesson so I got to leave early. I successfully took the bus back to the train station with the help of my 16 yr old Ola. and I made it just in time for the 6:30 shuttle back to Kolobrzeg. On the way back, I was so full of peace and happiness. It sounds cliche but I had such good conversation with the three Ola’s and I was looking forward to next Thursday. I still am. But as I had time to reflect, my mind was brought back to my devotional this morning. The Remedy of Uncertainty. I will leave you with this devotional that started out my day of uncertainty:

“But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.” – Matthew 8:26

“In Matthew 8, we are told of a terrible storm that rose quickly on the Sea of Galilee while Jesus and His disciples were in a boat, far from shore. The disciples were filled with fear. Sometimes, like Jesus’ disciples, we feel threatened by the storms of life. Sometimes we feel distant from God, and sometimes we may question His power or His plans. During these moments, when our hopes begin to fade and our fears begin to multiply, we must remember that God is not simply near, He is HERE. Are you being tested? If so, remember that God is always with you, always willing to calm the storms of life. When you sincerely seek His presence–and when you genuinely seek to establish a deeper, more meaningful relationship with His Son–God is prepared to touch your heart, CALM your fears, ANSWER your doubts, and RESTORE your hopes.”

And then it ended with this quote I fell in love with.

“Struggling with God over the issues of life doesn’t show a lack of faith–that is faith.” – Lee Strobel.

For me, this day started out filled with uncertainty but by the end, I truly realized that God is the remedy. He is the remedy of uncertainty.

My room where I teach in the apartment.

My nifty whiteboard!

Two bracelets I received from one of my first students after our lesson 🙂

This is honestly the song of my life right now.